When It All Seems Like Too Much

I don’t know if I’m supposed to write about this topic on this woefully neglected blog site, but it’s a glimpse into our daily life in this country we dearly love.  It’s a glimpse into issues all too common today and I don’t have many answers.

Two weeks and two incomprehensible stories of 12 year-old girls who have been raped.  Technically, one case was only “attempted” rape, but the trauma is nevertheless devastating. I looked at a hospital photo of one girl while eating lunch with a potential new volunteer for Solid Ground International. She asked me for advice and I talked about 24 hours and the police report and medical records and government services, but what I really want us to do is to board a ferry and rescue the girl who, although now at home, is still vulnerable.  She was walking home when a man high on drugs swept her up on his motorcycle. He strangled her and tried to rape her. Then he threw her from the bike. She passed out.  I don’t know the rest of the details.

We hear stories like this on a regular and it never gets easier to hear. We get calls and referrals and each one is fresh and raw and full of inadequate words. We have forgotten what it’s like not to be surrounded by tales of abuse and exploitation.   

Each story is rife with pain and fear. We don’t see that everything happens for a reason. There is no reason a 12-year-old child should ever endure the emotional, psychological, spiritual, and physical wounds that result from rape.  There’s no reason any human should. I don’t even ask God the “Why” question because I don’t think any explanation will be satisfactory.

Sometimes people talk about a broken world and broken people, about sin and evil, about free will and choice. And I still can’t make sense of it and the massacre of human flesh that happens daily around the globe.

While the SGI staff and I spend much time celebrating with individuals who have overcome trauma, we spend just as much time listening to the sobs and questions. We let them get it all out and we tell them it’s not their fault, but we don’t tell them it’s all going to be okay or that it will all work out for good if only they soldier up. Because we just don’t know the end of the story. We hope and pray and guide them the best we can. We sit with them.  We can’t afford to be dismissive or just give them a gentle pat on the back. When it’s time, we prompt them to take steps forward using their own motivations as impetus. If we rush the process, they may retreat.

The stories aren’t going to end tomorrow, so with what does that leave us?  I asked SGI residents about ways others best help them in the healing process.

In short: LISTEN. 

In fact, be quick to listen.

Let us cry and cry.

Show us you care through acts of kindness. Express your love out loud.

Be present and willing to spend time with us.

Come when we need you.

Be gentle when you speak to us.